July 19, 2013 | Funny Bits

Satanists turn Fred Phelps' mother gay ‘in the afterlife’

Things just don't seem to be going Fred Phelps' way these days. Gay marriage has been legalized in several US states, and in countries like France and the United Kingdom. Polls show increasing support for gay rights. And now Satanists have turned his dead mother into a lesbian. 

This week, the Satanic Temple held a ‘Pink Mass’ at the grave of Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps’ mother. The ritual, the group says, has turned her gay "in the afterlife.”

The Temple's website, westboro-baptist.com, shared images of the ceremony, explaining: “Catherine Idalette Johnston, wife of Fred W Phelps, Sr, Mother to Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps, Jr, was honored in a ceremonial ‘Pink Mass’, performed by The Satanic Temple, at her gravesite. The Pink Mass is a Satanic ritual performed at the grave site of a deceased person, which changes the sexual orientation of that person in the afterlife.

“Same-sexed couples expressed their love at the gravesite of Fred Phelps, Jr.’s mother before a high priest of the Satanic Temple, who recited an incantation.

“Upon completion of the Pink Mass ceremony, Catherine Johnston is now gay in the afterlife.”

I heard she's adjusting well to the change and has already moved in with her new lover!