March 12, 2013 | Sex Life

Fear of flying (with my dildo)

Ever since the giant purple dildo affair last year, when a gay couple were shocked to find their beloved sex toy exposed on a luggage carousel for all to see, I've wondered what would have happened if they had just packed their tool in their carry-on. Since all the airlines are now gouging customers with charges for  checked luggage, I try to limit myself to carry-on for short trips. I've never taken my dildo (I call him "Buddy") on vacation before, but I've thought about it. So what are the guidelines for sex toys allowed in hand luggage?  

A recent news article in the New York Post claims that vibrators (and so, presumably, non-elecrified dildos) are allowed in your carry on if they don't exceed 7 inches in length.  But Kat Stoffel, an eagle-eyed blogger for NYMag.com, was suspicious about the claim. He called up the Transportation Safety Authority (TSA) and was told there was, in fact, no 7 inch limit for carry-on sex toys. 

The TSA homepage has a search feature called "Can I bring my...?" in which you can input any item and see what the rules are for plane travel. I searched for "dildo" and (surprise) got an "item not found" result. I tried "sex toy" to no avail. But "vibrator" does come up with a result: 

You may transport this item in carry-on baggage or in checked baggage. For items you wish to carry-on, you should check with the airline to ensure that the item will fit in the overhead bin or underneath the seat of the airplane.

Since there's no seven inch limit for vibrators, I would assume that a dildo would come under the same rule; really, it should be considered less of a threat since it doesn't have the electrical innards of a vibrator. And given that most airlines allow a max of 22 inches long for a carry-on bag, well, there's plenty of space for even a double dong.

So a big dildo in your carry-on is okay, but don't get too crazy: the size and hardness of your toy could still get it confiscated. For instance, batons, billy clubs or any objects that could be used as a bludgeon, aren't allowed in carry-on. There's a 10" glass dildo on the market which could, theoretically, be used to whack someone on the head. And those fist and forearm numbers are probably pushing the limit as they could, again theoretically, be used to smack someone. 

So I was reassured that I could take Buddy -- all 10 inches of him -- as carry-on. But that still left the prospect of having him pulled out and inspected by some latex-gloved TSA agent as I sheepishly stood by at the security check.  Perhaps it would be better, after all, to pay the $25 checked luggage fee to save myself that embarrasment. Better yet, maybe I'll stick to my old plan: leaving Buddy safe at home in the bedside drawer and looking for a real human penis during my travels.