January 10, 2006 | Funny Bits

Dirty judge to face trial

It's said that justice is blind. Apparently, it's also a dirty old man, and his name is Donald Thompson. The former Oklahoma judge was ordered to stand trial on indecent exposure charges this week after his former court clerk accused him of masturbating during trial.

Lisa Foster worked for Thompson for 15 years and was the only witness called in his preliminary hearing Tuesday, according to the Associated Press. She told the court that a whooshing sound she heard in court in February 2001 turned out to be Thompson choking his chicken with a penis pump during witness testimony.

"He had a bulb in his hand and was squeezing," Foster said. "Whenever he would squeeze the bulb I would hear the noise."

Foster saw Thompson's goods during several trials between 2001 and 2003, and even caught him once shaving his pubes on the bench. She did not report him, however, because she did not want to lose her job or embarrass Thompson's family. Still, the judge fired her in September 2003 as an investigation into his behavior was beginning.

Thompson's lawyer questioned Foster's credibility and told reporters that her testimony differed greatly from her previous accounts. A judge, however, ordered Thompson bound over for trial.

Thompson faces arraignment on Jan. 26 on four counts of indecent exposure and one count of misuse of a state computer, because he allegedly kept explicit photos of himself on his hard driver.

If convicted, Thompson faces up to 41 years in prison -- plenty of time to let his pubes grow back.

• Former Creek County judge ordered to trial [KOTX]
• Penis Pump Judge Headed For Trial [North Country Gazette]