January 30, 2014 | Funny Bits

Man crashes car, then masturbates

Man masturbates after crashing car.

What would you do if you crashed your car into a chicken restaurant on a weekday morning? You'd probably get help, or sit on a curb and wait for a tow truck. Or, if you've been drinking, you might try to run away.

Well, not if you are Vincent Wade. The 34-year-old New Jersey man crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in North Philadelphia. It was 10:30 in the morning. He got out of his car, stripped and started to play with himself.

Someone captured a video of the incident, though Wade's bum is the only thing that's exposed in the clip. "Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy," said the witness.

Surprisingly, he was not arrested for public indecency, but he has been charged with driving under the influence. The influence of what, exactly, is to be determined. 

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