January 28, 2010 | Celeb Watch

Ted Haggard cured of 'the gay'

Yesterday Oprah interviewed Ted Haggard and his wife, Gayle. He's the silly evangelical TV pastor who was caught relying on the services of a male prostitute in 2006.

Well, praise the Lord, Haggard has been cured of his “homosexual compulsions." He even lets his wife follow him on Facebook and Twitter to ensure he stays on the "straight" and narrow. (Because if he writes it on Facebook, it just has to be true.)

Better, Haggard won't stay at hotels when he travels. Instead he visits local pastors for a bed and a shoulder rub.

The couple are currently pushing Gayle's book, 'Why I Stayed.' In it she discusses her husband's infidelity, why she forgave him, and how their marriage is now stronger and more intimate than ever before. Strangely, she failed to discuss the rainbow-farting unicorns she keeps as pets, or the oompa loompas that recently moved into her basement and comb her hair at night.

Ah, the power of denial.

Haggard to Oprah: I'm Cured of Being Gay [The Advocate]