September 24, 2008 | Sex Life

Up close and personals, Round 1

Well, summer is officially over and winter is just around the corner. As the nights become longer and the days colder, thoughts of hibernation are becoming increasingly seductive.

There comes a time every year when getting dressed to the nines, and then covering up with a scarf, sweater, parka, toque and mukluks (or just a jacket, depending on where you live)  just doesn't seem very fun. The Internet offers a chance to hook up for a quickie (or a lifetime love affair) without braving the cold in the deep dark of 7 PM.

When writing an ad for a gay hook-up site, be honest. You're not slim if you have twenty-pounds to lose. Your hair isn't short if you've lost it all already. And even if fifty is the new forty, you're still fifty. Love who you are. Besides, fudging the truth slightly may increase your odds at finding someone with whom to chat, but it will also increase the chance of rejection when you finally meet in person.

A picture with your ad will entice more men to take a look. But if you are going to include that sexy cock shot keep your face out of it. Anything posted online has a nasty habit of coming up when you least expect it.

Be honest about what you want. Only interested in a movie? Then let guys know that you're not looking for sex. Hoping to meet a sumo wrestler with a fetish for toe rings? Then say so. You'll limit the number of responses, but you won't be wasting your time on men who don't live up to your expectations.

And whatever you do, keep your ad brief. Whining about how lonely you are or prattling on about how daffodils make you happy will turn many men off. That's the opposite of what you want to do.

But be warned ...

Not everyone is honest out there. Don't take a complete a stranger at his word.

Not everyone will be forthcoming about herpes, crabs or HIV, even if you ask them. Assume they are positive for an STI and take the necessary precautions. Rubbers can be fun!

It's usually a good idea to meet a potential trick in a public place first.  A coffee shop is good and will give you a chance to determine if your hook-up matches the hot pics he sent to you.

Trust your instincts! If someone seems iffy, don't go through with a meeting. It's better to hurt someone's feelings than end up in a situation you're going to regret. A useful line: "I just broke up with my boyfriend and thought I was ready for this, but I'm really not. I'm sorry."  (This line is also useful if a cute twink removes his shirt to reveal a thick forest of hair on his back.)

Don't get too wasted with your new friend. Liquid courage can often help if you're feeling shy but you want to be in full control of your faculties. It's also kind of cool to be able to remember every sordid detail from the night before.

So what are some of the best sites for finding Mr Right Now? Check back tomorrow and we'll list some of the best gay personals sites online.