September 20, 2022 | Sex & Society

Can anal beads improve your chess game?

It's not often that you hear "chess" and "anal beads" and "cheating" in the same sentence, but here we are.

Grandmaster Magnus Carlsen had been experiencing a major winning streak while competing at the Sinquefield Cup, but he was defeated by the lowest-ranking player, 19-year-old Hans Niemann (pictured), during a game.

Upset by the loss, Carlsen pulled out of the competition.

Though the event was designed to stop people from cheating, including a 15-minute delay in the broadcast and a limit to specific radio frequencies, Niemann was accused of getting extra help. A rumour started to spread that the younger player had inserted wireless anal beads up his bottom, receiving AI-driven suggestions about the game.

At one point the theory took a turn, with some people claiming Carlsen had actually used the technique for the past decade, and Niemann simply stole the idea.

“If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it,” Niemann said when responding to the claims. “I don’t care. Because I know I am clean. You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care. I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”

See, chess isn't so boring after all.