January 18, 2022 | Sex & Society

From "Modern Family" to OnlyFans

You might recognize David Pevsner for his small roles on shows like Modern Family, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy. You may not know that he has also worked as an escort and has an active OnlyFans account.

At 63, Pevsner felt it was time to fully celebrate his sexuality, while hoping to inspire a new generation of gay men to accept themselves.

As a young man, Pevsner admitted he struggled with his identity, dealing with being bullied growing up and then facing down the AIDS crisis in the 80s.

He started to find self-acceptance when he began visiting gay saunas.

“I knew inside of me that I wasn’t just a ‘missionary position’ kind of guy,” he shared with PinkNews. “I knew I wasn’t like, ‘I want to fall in love with somebody and then be with them my whole life.’ I knew there was something else, but if you thought that way, you were a slut. When I started going to bathhouses, I just kept thinking: ‘If my parents knew what I do in a bathhouse…’ I’m a good Jewish boy who’s got this dirty streak inside.

"They were the first essence of, I’m doing something that I’m told I shouldn’t do -- wandering the hallway, finding a guy, fucking him, leaving, and finding another one… It helped me explore the deeper, darker stuff that I don’t know I would have explored had I not been able to go and do it anonymously.”

He then began escorting.

“I know plenty of guys who have done it, and everybody has a different experience,” he explained. “My experience was very pleasurable. It taught me a lot about myself, it taught me a lot about men. When I was escorting, it wasn’t just about, ‘I show up, I fuck and I make money’ -- it was so not just that, because I was dealing with individual people."

"[Escorting was] the best job I ever had outside of showbiz," he told The Guardian. "I met lots of great people who were happy that I was there. I’m a caretaker guy; there were times when they would be like: ‘My mom just died, and I just needed to feel something.’ So I would go and we would talk. It wasn’t all just about, you know, plugging each other up. I just found it was something I took to.”

Eventually he discovered Tumblr, where he posted explicit pics of himself; and when the micro-blogging site banned adult content, Pevsner switched to OnlyFans.

“OnlyFans is a great place, because it’s very much the case that you are there because you want to be there,” Pevsner revealed. “You pay to be there, so it’s not like it’s going on XTube where just anybody can click on it and have an opinion. I’m not interested in your opinion, I just want to do my work. ... When I shoot a video, sometimes it has a story to it. Sometimes it’s a role play, and sometimes it’s just me shoving a dildo up my ass."

You can find out more about his experience in his autobiography Damn Shame, where he explores his relationship with sex and identity. He offers an honest reflection on his own attitudes, good and bad, and how he views the struggles and concerns of a new generation of young queer men.

“I want this to resonate. I think it’s relatable to anyone – as long as they have an open mind,” he said. “But if you read a fisting joke and it makes you put the book down, that’s a problem.”